I hate diets.
Have you ever met anyone who said they love their diet? They're lying. They like the way their diet makes them look and the effect it has on their health and well-being, but they do NOT love eating less food than their body wants, nor would they choose to eat the food they're eating on their diet if it wasn't low-fat and low-sugar. They do not love their diet; they love the effects of their diet.
I don't particularly like the feeling of an empty stomach, but I can deal with it. The reason I really hate diets is because I hate having low blood sugar 75% of the day and night. Believe me, I have been on every diet for blood sugar problems since 1974 and it doesn't matter.
But as I said in my last blog, Something Must Be Done.
Tomorrow is my 52nd birthday. I am going to go out to eat with Hubs after Kids' Choir tomorrow night. We will go to Longhorn. I may even eat steak instead of fish. When we come home, I will fix myself a Long Island Tea. Sort of a Last Supper.
Thursday, I will begin The BAD.
The BAD is a diet I made up myself. It's cheap, it requires almost no cooking, and there's not much measuring. It does require exercise, but not high impact, since I can't do that anymore. Here's the gist:
Workout or walk 30 min every day but Sunday
Breakfast – choose one
Frozen diet egg mcmuff
High protein frozen pancakes or waffles + 1 tbp PB
High protein cereal+yogurt ½ cup each
Boiled egg and whole wheat toast
High Protein Smoothie – 2 cups
Snack – choose one:
Yogurt
½ Larabar (whole if I exercised in AM)
Lunch - choose one:
Soup at Hand+Salad greens+ dressing+ whole wheat crackers
Salad greens+sunflower seeds+dressing+crackers
Lean Cuisine sandwich
Snack:
Same as AM
Supper
Lean Cuisine & Extra veggie
Snack - choose one
Frozen Diet fudgesicle
High protein smoothie – ½ cup and add ice
If there are no children or proper people around, BAD stands for Bad Ass Diet. This is because:
1) My ass looks really bad (I mean "bad" as in "not good," as opposed to "bad" as in "sexy.").
2) I will have a bad attitude because I am on a diet.
If there are children and proper people around, then it's the Baked Alaska Diet, because at the end, you make yourself Baked Alaska. But I ain't gon' call it that since I avoid cooking whenever possible, especially things that require beating the snot outta egg whites when the result gives you some wimpy dessert that tastes like burned air. I'll bet most of the people in Alaska think it's a wimpy dessert and they eat decent desserts with chocolate and butter and caramel and cream.
But I digress.
My BAD will start Thursday. Readers, you are my witnesses. You may be silent, you may be vocal, you may be only one crazy lady in Texas and my BIL, but if my accountability is only Hubs, there will be homicide. And I really don't want to lose weight by sitting on Death Row. Plus, what's the point if you lose weight? You have to wear those jumpsuits that make you look like an orange popsicle.
So when people say, "I haven't seen you in a while. Dang, you have certainly gained some weight," I can say back, "Yeah, I know. Oops; My BAD."
PS: Whatever happened to the thing on Xanga where you could put what book, music, or movie you were enjoying?
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